With the world full of relationship goals and Social media have been flooded with the ideas of a perfect couple. When all your feeds showing photos of couples traveling to different beautiful places together, eating in an expensive restaurant, so sweet, so ideal. Long post of heartfelt message of the girl tagging her boyfriend and in the comment section the boy mentioning the girl saying “oh! thank you babe! ikaw lang sapat na!” Like their relationship were so perfect, so in love.
And there you are, so envy. Now you are wishing to have that perfect guy. You’re dreaming and wondering, imagining to be with a KPOP looking guy, or that OPPA you are crazy about.
Let me break your fantasy! and give you a different perspective.
I WOULD RATHER NOT ENTER INTO RELATIONSHIP JUST BECAUSE ALMOST EVERYONE IN SOCIAL MEDIA HAVE ONE.
This is never a hate post, but let me share to you the reasons why I would rather be single than be on a relationship.
Today is not yet the time, So many things to do
I am 22 years old and I should be dating any guy who’s interested in me. Why not? I mean I think I am old enough to handle dating. But today is not yet the time for that since I am still studying at the same time working and also doing my Passion project that I have to dedicate my time, energy and attention into. Having a relationship will not be a good option for me right now. It will be either I will fail in the relationship or I will focus too much on it.
I do not want that! God doesn’t want that either.
Ecclesiastes 3: 8 says there is a time to love. and for now, it’s not yet the time for me to love. I am busy fulfilling my dreams and the dream of the Lord for my life.
I am setting the bar high.
As a Queen, you are supposed to have your own king not an ordinary villager.
Sure enough it is easy to fall in love. You can fall in love with anybody you want, as long as they are sweet, they compliment you, they make you their first priority. Trust me when I say that once the guy starts to use their flowery words, there will be chances that you would fall for them. Not all ladies are like that. But I am. I can easily fall on any guy. I know my self.
The bible says in Jeremiah 7:9 that the heart is deceitful above all things and I was tricked by this heart many times.
Now I am setting the bar high. I know my worth in the Lord. I am a Queen in the making so I do not deserve to have an ordinary villager only, But a king.
I will share to you some of my Queenly standards on a different post.
I am preparing to be a Queen.
Like what I always say, we are today’s Esther, We are Queens to be, we are in the making. Now that I am in the journey of becoming the best for the Lord, I know that He is as well. that is why our match maker (God) is not yet allowing me and my king to meet.
I am in the making and maybe the guy for me is also in the process of becoming a KING.
God says “not yet”
Let me focus on this part and share to you something personal and based on what I experience.
I am deeply and madly in love with my boyfriend before. I disobeyed my parents, my pastors, and my own conscience just to be with this guy. Do not get me wrong, because this guy I am telling you is also a King to be. He is God-fearing, he serves as a guitarist in the church, a youth leader, he is respectful and loving and I know in my heart that he will be successful in the future. He was perfect for me, I guess.
But the timing makes everything imperfect. The timing makes him not the guy for me.
It is hard for me to accept it. I thought I have words from the Lord. I thought I had a vision. But all of those are temporary emotions, maybe? I am not sure.
I can now conclude that, You cannot find the right guy at the wrong time.
To be honest I am not closing doors for us, but I am also not hoping, or thinking or imagining things to be with this guy in the future. I believe that if it is the will of the Lord, it will happen. If not, then God saved this guy from the wrong one (which is me) and He will lead me to my own King Xerxes.
After I broke up with my boyfriend. I asked the Lord what is His plan for me. Can I make it without this guy? CAN I LIVE WITHOUT HIM?? I have all the most dramatic scene with the Lord that time. With all the tears on my face and all that mucus on my nose. The song “without you” by Mariah Carey on the background with matching slow motion in that lonely night. I am sure you can picture the scenario.
I did not hear any words like actual voice of the Lord (like how we picture God speaking to Moses), or the voice within. I am waiting for Him to literally speak to me, but then all that I heard was silence. Days pass and I still do not know what to do. I asked a sign.
After the sign I ask the Lord to give me happened, I was very surprised because I never cried. I was so shocked to see myself not crying at all. I thought the break up would be like what we usually watch on a romantic movies. It is not like the Popoy-Basha break up.
But not crying at all doesn’t mean I am not affected. What I wanna say is that God gave me peace after and that makes me really believe that it is the work of the Lord.
Then He finally spoke to me, not the God-giving-Moses-instruction-kind-of-talk but He spoke to me through His words. I sought the Lord. I did my devotions, I pray, I put my focus on the Lord and then He finally spoke.
God lead me to Genesis Chapter 6.
At that time there was a famine in the Land where Isaac and his family lives, he plans to go to Egypt but God stopped him and in verse 3.
Stay in this land for a while, and I will be with you and will bless you. For to you and your descendants I will give all these lands and will confirm the oath I swore to your father Abraham.
After reading this particular part of the chapter. I never thought that it will be a rhema word. Days pass before God fully gave me the meaning of this verse.
God wants me to stay in the land for a while.
“Lord what do you mean Land? which land?”
and right there and then. I know what God wanted me to do. Stay single. I was surprised! I was about to ask question again but He already gave the answer. He said “for a while” Sobrang kinabahan ako kase akala ko gift of celibacy na tong sinasabi sa akin ng Lord. But I relaxed when the verse says that for the mean time only.
So this are my reason why I am choosing to be single. I do not know when God will give me a go signal to be on a relationship again but whenever that may be. I know that the time will be perfect.
It may be hard for me to stay single but as long as I have my family, few friends, pursuing my studies and serving God. I know I can stay in this the land. And besides being single is enjoyable. We just wanna be in a relationship because we envy those who have. we think too much.
We fall in love with the idea of falling in Love. We enter relationship because of the idea of having a relationship.
But to be honest, it is not always happy, it’s not always what we see on social media.
So Queens to be, please do not rush into relationship. 🙂 nurture yourselves first, serve God, enjoy being single for a while. Everything will be on its proper places in time. Do not let your heart deceive you just because He said “Hi Beautiful!” with a kiss emoji. Raise your standards 🙂
Cheers to every Queens who would rather stay single.
Cheers to Esther inside of us!